Where am I?

Life is beautiful it has so many hues,
Out of all of them why do I see only blue?

If someone asks “Hey how are you?”
I smile and say “Fine, thank you how about you?”

I smile but it doesn’t reach my eyes like it used do,
I laugh at jokes cos isn't that what you’re supposed to do?

Why is the pillow wet so often?
To sleep peacefully have I forgotten?

I listen to my ipod don’t want the bus to stop,
Mr.Conductor can’t I just sit here all day?
I have lots of time to while away.

The doc asks “Tell me where does it pain?”
I say “No where doc.” Ah how well I feign.

How do I tell him it pains deep inside,
The reason? Hell there is none but if you insist so much I can make up a ton.

I know it’s been long since I spoke to you dear god,
But won’t you please help me?
I’m trying to find the old me.

I knock inside me and ask anyone home?
I get no answer; she’s gone out somewhere to aimlessly roam.

So many changes in me I just cannot bear to see,
Help me, help me find the old me.